Coercive and controlling behaviour

Coercive control describes a range or pattern of behaviours that a person displays to maintain or regain control of a partner, ex-partner or family member. These methods are usually used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. 

It is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour. 

Coercive control is a criminal offence. 

Examples

Examples of this behaviour can include: 

Physical and sexual violence or abuse and violent behaviour 

  • physical violence and threats of physical violence
  • physical intimidation
    • for example, blocking doors, slamming doors, hitting walls, displaying weapons or harmful objects, driving dangerously with the victim in the car
  • sexual assault, coercion or abuse, and threats of sexual assault

Emotional and psychological abuse 

  • abuse relating to faith or beliefs 
  • verbal abuse 
  • constant criticism of the victim’s role as a partner, spouse or parent 
  • criticising the victim’s choice of friends and associates 
  • intentionally undermining and/or manipulating the victim
  • posting unwanted messages on the victim’s social media 

Controlling behaviours 

  • controlling or monitoring the victim’s daily activities and behaviour
    • for example, making them account for their time, dictating what they can wear or who they can talk to 
  • using digital systems, such as smart devices or social media, to coerce, control, upset and monitor the victim (for example, restricting and checking phone use)
  • controlling and monitoring the victim’s access to their post 
  • acts of coercion or force to persuade the victim to do something that they are unwilling to do
  • economic abuse (for example, coerced debt or controlling spending)
  • using a victim’s workplace to control them
    • for example, denying access to work, dictating where they work, turning up at work
  • making and enforcing rules and regulations that the victim is expected to follow and using punishments to make them comply
    • for example, making accusations or humiliating a person in public or private for not following the rules. 
  • coercing the victim into carrying out criminal behaviour such as selling drugs or carrying weapons
  • following the victim or appearing unexpectedly (or both)  
  • reproductive coercion
    • for example, restricting a victim’s access to birth control, refusing to use a birth control method, forced pregnancy, forcing a victim to get an abortion, to undergo in vitro fertilisation (IVF) or other procedure or denying access to such a procedure
  • using substances such as alcohol or drugs to control a victim through dependency or controlling their access to substances
  • using child arrangements and child maintenance to control the victim

Restrictive behaviours 

  • withholding or destroying the victim’s immigration documents (or both) such as passports and visas 
  • preventing normal activities such as volunteering or joining local clubs and groups
  • preventing the victim from learning a language or improving their existing language skills
  • refusing to interpret (including British Sign Language, BSL, for deaf victims) on behalf of the victim
  • hindering access to communication
    • for example, refusing to make information accessible 
  • restricting access to health and social care appointments, or preventing the victim from accessing health or social care
  • preventing the victim from taking medication, or accessing medical equipment, or over-medicating them
  • isolating the victim from family, friends, colleagues and professionals who may be trying to support them 

Threatening behaviours 

  • threats of being placed in an institution against the victim’s will
    • for example, placement in a care home, supported living facility or mental health facility
  • threats to expose or exposure of sensitive information (for example, sexual activity, private sexual photos or films, sexual orientation and/or transgender identity)
  • making false allegations to statutory agencies
    • for example, police, children’s services, jobcentre, child maintenance services
  • using children to control the victim
    • for example, threatening to take the children away, threatening to harm the children 
  • using pets to control or coerce a victim
    • for example, harming, or threatening to harm or give away pets
  • intimidation and threats of disclosure of health status or an impairment
  • threats to the victim, including to their family, friends and pets, that make them feel afraid
  • threats to report a victim to immigration enforcement or the police (or both) or threaten to remove the victim to their country of origin
  • intimidation or threats to go to the police to report alleged offending

How to get help

For advice on how to leave a relationship safely, see the Women's Aid website's support guide.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know is being physically abused please report it.

If someone is in immediate danger call 999.