Coercive and controlling behaviour

Coercive control describes a range or pattern of behaviours that a person displays to maintain or regain control of a partner, ex-partner or family member. These methods are usually used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. 

It is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour. 

Coercive control is a criminal offence. 

Examples of this behaviour can include: 

Physical and sexual violence or abuse and violent behaviour 

• physical violence and threats of physical violence
• physical intimidation
  • for example, blocking doors, slamming doors, hitting walls, displaying weapons or harmful objects, driving dangerously with the victim in the car
• sexual assault, coercion or abuse, and threats of sexual assault

Emotional and psychological abuse 

• abuse relating to faith or beliefs 
• verbal abuse 
• constant criticism of the victim’s role as a partner, spouse or parent 
• criticising the victim’s choice of friends and associates 
• intentionally undermining and/or manipulating the victim
• posting unwanted messages on the victim’s social media 

Controlling behaviours 

• controlling or monitoring the victim’s daily activities and behaviour
  • for example, making them account for their time, dictating what they can wear or who they can talk to 
• using digital systems, such as smart devices or social media, to coerce, control, upset and monitor the victim (for example, restricting and checking phone use)
• controlling and monitoring the victim’s access to their post 
• acts of coercion or force to persuade the victim to do something that they are unwilling to do
• economic abuse (for example, coerced debt or controlling spending)
• using a victim’s workplace to control them
  • for example, denying access to work, dictating where they work, turning up at work
• making and enforcing rules and regulations that the victim is expected to follow and using punishments to make them comply
  • for example, making accusations or humiliating a person in public or private for not following the rules. 
• coercing the victim into carrying out criminal behaviour such as selling drugs or carrying weapons
• following the victim or appearing unexpectedly (or both)  
• reproductive coercion
  • for example, restricting a victim’s access to birth control, refusing to use a birth control method, forced pregnancy, forcing a victim to get an abortion, to undergo in vitro fertilisation (IVF) or other procedure or denying access to such a procedure
• using substances such as alcohol or drugs to control a victim through dependency or controlling their access to substances
• using child arrangements and child maintenance to control the victim

Restrictive behaviours 

• withholding or destroying the victim’s immigration documents (or both) such as passports and visas 
• preventing normal activities such as volunteering or joining local clubs and groups
• preventing the victim from learning a language or improving their existing language skills
• refusing to interpret (including British Sign Language, BSL, for deaf victims) on behalf of the victim
• hindering access to communication
  • for example, refusing to make information accessible 
• restricting access to health and social care appointments, or preventing the victim from accessing health or social care
• preventing the victim from taking medication, or accessing medical equipment, or over-medicating them
• isolating the victim from family, friends, colleagues and professionals who may be trying to support them 

Threatening behaviours 

• threats of being placed in an institution against the victim’s will
  • for example, placement in a care home, supported living facility or mental health facility
• threats to expose or exposure of sensitive information (for example, sexual activity, private sexual photos or films, sexual orientation and/or transgender identity)
• making false allegations to statutory agencies
  • for example, police, children’s services, jobcentre, child maintenance services
• using children to control the victim
  • for example, threatening to take the children away, threatening to harm the children 
• using pets to control or coerce a victim
  • for example, harming, or threatening to harm or give away pets
• intimidation and threats of disclosure of health status or an impairment
• threats to the victim, including to their family, friends and pets, that make them feel afraid
• threats to report a victim to immigration enforcement or the police (or both) or threaten to remove the victim to their country of origin
• intimidation or threats to go to the police to report alleged offending

For advice on how to leave a relationship safely, see the Women's Aid website's support guide.