Psychological and emotional abuse

Psychological abuse is a form of abuse where someone uses a wide range of verbal or emotional manipulations to maintain control. This may be used to:

• manipulate and frighten a person
• distort their thoughts
• change their sense of self.

It involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally. It may/can distort, confuse or influence a person’s thoughts and actions within their everyday lives. It changes their sense of self and harms their wellbeing. 

Offenders use a wide range of hidden tactics to control and brainwash their victim. It may include presenting insults as a joke, gaslighting, and presenting different versions of events. 

Examples

• intimidation and threats - shouting, acting aggressively or just generally making you feel scared
• criticism - name-calling or making lots of unpleasant or sarcastic comments
• undermining - dismissing your opinion or making you doubt your own opinion
• being made to feel guilty - this can range from outright emotional blackmail (threats to kill oneself or lots of emotional outbursts) to sulking all the time or giving you the silent treatment as a way of manipulating you
• economic abuse - withholding money, not involving you in finances or even preventing you from getting a job
• control of daily life - telling you what you can and can’t do, what to wear, who you can see and when you can go out
• social isolation - preventing someone accessing services and seeing friends and family
• neglect - for example, removing mobility or communication aids or intentionally leaving someone unattended when they need assistance
• preventing someone from meeting their religious and cultural needs
• preventing the expression of choice and opinion
• failure to respect privacy
• preventing someone from participating in mentally stimulating and meaningful occupation or activities
• addressing a person in a patronising or infantilising way
• threats of harm or abandonment
• cyber bullying

For more information, please see the survivor's handbook on the Women's Aid website.